Cruise Blog

Cruise Blog – 10 Decks of Grey Pt.5 – Slow motion jet lag.

10 Decks of Grey Pt.5 – Slow motion jet lag.

We are used to getting jet lag after our long flights to New Zealand but we didn’t expect to get it on a cruise. However as we headed west to America we have crossed several time zones and have had to keep moving our clocks back. Consequently we are not sleeping brilliantly. It’s an odd sort of slow motion jet lag.

This might explain our latest escapade and confusion regarding the Launderette.

Apart from our deck (pretty much the modern version of steerage) most decks have a passenger launderette. Andrea and I went to one and when we looked inside all of the washing machines were in use and there were three ladies in there. So we walked all the way around to the other corridor and looked into the other Launderette, also full of ladies.

We did this three times on different decks backwards and forwards between each corridor and each time busy.

Late the next day we found one empty and whilst in there I noticed another door at the other end of the laundrette. When I opened it I realised that it was the other corridor. Andrea and I had been walking backwards and forwards looking for an empty launderette each time looking into the same one twice from opposite ends because the launderette linked two corridors!

10 Decks of Grey Pt.4

Misunderstandings & Inappropriate Clothing.

It was another Gala night tonight so everyone was in sequined posh frocks and DJ’s in the silver service restaurant but Andrea and I ended up in very undignified hysterical laughter.

What Andrea actually said:“There’s lots of sparkly numbers around”.

What I heard, “I just farted as there’s no one around!”

We actually got some sun today so we spent some time in the hot tub at the back of the ship. To get there we wore our complimentary Cunard logo bathrobes.

Afternoon tea came around and I offered to get tea and scones for Andrea and I but got into the buffet area before it had reopened. I then found myself getting disapproving looks from staff and fellow passengers as I stood in the queue looking like I had just gotten out of the bath.

It was a bit awkward but I decided that my pride and self respect was less important than a scone with jam and clotted cream. Get stuffed snobs!

Cruise Blog – 10 Decks of grey Pt.1

After spending most of 2022 either in surgery or recovering from surgery we decided that we would treat ourselves to a cruise to New Zealand rather than fly next time and here we are on our way. The last time we cruised I kept a cruise diary and was asked by friends to do it again on this cruise. I decided to share it on my main blog as well. I hope you enjoy it:

Pt1.

And we’re off, on the coach and heading to London. “Take The National Express, it’ll make you smile etc.” just running through the lyrics in my mind and we have the feeble old dear (not Andrea lol) and a screaming child. With thousands of miles to travel our first hold up was roadworks in sight of the bus station. Such a typically British problem.

A stop over tonight in a hotel near Victoria Coach station and then a morning coach to the ship. We are sailing on Cunard’s Queen Victoria and you can track our progress (if you want) on the cruise mapper app. So it’s an early dinner probably at Maccy D’s and early to bed. No

jelly and icecream today

10 Decks of Grey Pt.2

Britannia Rules The Waves

(Somewhere in the mid Atlantic)

Andrea just came out with a classic.

Me “I can feel the ship moving”

Andrea “I’ve finished in the loo”

Me: “No, I said ship”!

Well the POSH, POSH travelling life, the travelling life for me. Our POSH cruise started with a performance in the main dance hall by the Empire Brass Marching Band. They were great to be fair but many of the oldies were clearly aroused by their renditions of Rule Britannia, Land of Hope & Glory and other hits from the album “Now thats what I call Jingoistic”.

It struck me while listening that due to the Royal Navy’s troubles recruiting there are probably more fat old fogeys like me at sea these days than actual RN sailors thanks to cruises. Our fellow passengers have so far proven to be very friendly and congenial. The restaurant is a sea of grey haired folks tucking into mountains of grub.

I was being a good boy this morning as after a 3k run around the top deck I loaded up my breakfast bowl with fruit and a black coffee. However there was a bowl of crispy streaky bacon to die for on the hot food stand so I had fruit with a crispy bacon dressing!

To cement our reputation as old gits, after breakfast we listened to an interesting talk by a retired policeman ( which fed our insatiable interest in murder most foul, usually satisfied by Netflix) then joined in for ballroom dancing lessons followed by lunch and a nice chat with a chap in the jewellery shop who tried to sell Andrea a $13k bracelet. Fat chance! The food continues to be excellent, I’m especially enjoying the Jelly and Icecream!

Anyway I must finish this post as my trouser foghorn keeps sounding so I suspect that I may need a ship.